This is what went wrong with feminism :Opinion

“I am lucky to be licking the right ass” ,  a controversial phrase  as it may seem is  from someone who happens to be a feminist. Chimamanda Ngozie  Adichie a successful Nigerian feminist have written a lot of books that are  full of feminist ideologies among them Purple Hibiscus, Half of a yellow sun, We should all be feminists and  Americanah.  The quote I have used an an escort is from her book Americanah and it   begins by saying, “The  biggest problem  in this country is not corruption. The problem is that there are many qualified people who are not where they are supposed to be because they won’t lick anybody’s ass or they don’t know which ass to lick or they don’t even know how to lick an ass. I’m lucky to be licking the right ass”. Whatever that means,I believe its a subjective issue, it depends on how you view it  , but  the phrase did a great job in bringing  me closer to the  main issue of this article which is  feminism and its short comings.

To begin with,  I  would like to applaud feminists both late and living for endangering their lives in standing up against  radicalism which was  and is still rife within the spheres of life which continue to  subjugate women in all forms.   The forerunners did a great job and without their effort the likes of myself and my fellow female colleagues would not have  been corresponding here.  Revolutionaries and philosophers like Jeanne Jacques Rousseau who heralded  important sentiments  that were  so powerful  and that we still refer  back to today such as  ” men are all born equal, but all I see is chains”,  did  an important role  also in advocating for equality, all this effort  cannot be substituted by anything .
However, I  strongly feel that  these theories  successfully empowered women theoretically and  they did overlooked  one aspect of life  which  is now haunting women  with their education or better phrased’ emancipation’.
Feminism, of course as a human rights issue  for example,  paved way for equality between men and women  through trying to tilt scales of imbalance, but the whole concept was done in a wrong way because tilting scales means there has to be some maintenance of  balance, but feminists went all the way  rallying for women to be at par with men while forgetting that by so doing they were alienating women from men who were sitting rigid on the  positions women were  preparing so much to take . As an aftermath, when women are empowered theoretically they then struggle now to penetrate through those positions  and because men with their ego have not been engaged  from the beginning, they refuse to cooperate . That also explains the beginning of  ‘licking the right bottom affair’. But honestly if feminism has been engaging with men more often, there was obviously going to be a swift transition of power without the other party having to lick the right bottom . Well frank enough theoretically as envisaged the feminism ideologies worked, but practically they are failing.

The  thing is- feminism is the theory of encouraging  women to be  better creatures, but in practicality it does not spell out how women ought to relate with men when they have attained the much talked about equality because men have been socialized that they exercise power over women from a tender age and  from a cultural perspective this is common sense, but sad enough women only got to know of  equality at a later stage in life which complicates the whole process of equality and very  few men truthfully  believe in feminism because as a theory  they  ought to have their own  views pertaining  the subject in question .
Feminism also failed to note that  biologically men and women cannot have equal strength , what we can have is equal opportunities, but these opportunities comes with a responsibility too  and women’s sexual desires cannot be quenched by theories, hence the  ‘we don’t really care about men’ ideology is a fallacy.

A few years back during  my high school days, when I was doing literature, I fell in love with two  women feminists, Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie a Nigerian  novelist  and Tsitsi Dangaregmbwa a Zimbabwean playwriter .I was greatly thrilled by Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus and Dangarembga’s She no longer weeps.

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Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie, Nigerian  novelist and feminist

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Tsitsi Dangarembga, Zimbabwean feminist and play writer

These two women had a lot in common, radicalism,they were radical feminists  and their influence on young girls is  to date so strong .
I too was once ensnared in that net of believing  in feminist ideologies,  because I was naive  I was quick to believe that feminists don’t want men or better phrased,don’t want to get married or they won’t lick anybody’s ass,  but Dangarembga’s  recent marriage proved  that these  beliefs  are nothing but mere  fallacies .
I also did my research right and realised that Adichie on the other hand  is enjoying her successes because she is surrounded by males who  have the keys to unlock doors she can’t herself  , hence she now talks about ‘licking the right ass ‘.she points out clearly that even when one is well qualified, might not be successful if  not aware about how to lick the right ass.
So I noted with utter rage  that feminism like any other  school of thought , is   to do  more with Agenda setting and nothing else . Whether feminists became successful or not, that’s another angle saved for another day.

At some point Adichie had to confess that even  with education,women are still struggling to penetrate through the positions that have been a preserve for men . She reiterated that the higher she has gone up the ladder of success, the less women she had encountered there  which is really worrisome.
When Adichie wrote her novel Purple Hibiscus, she said that a male journalist approached her and said  her book was all about feminism  and warned her that it’s not good to call herself a feminist because feminists are viewed as  people who   hate men and they live miserable lives ,  but Adichie  told herself that  she was going to call herself ‘a happy African feminist’ either way it didn’t change anything because a feminist is a feminist regardless of the wording.
Unperturbed by that journalist,  another woman also approached her and warned her that feminism was un-african, and that  chimamanda had been mainly influenced by western books she studied much .
Sad enough even with her powerful ideologies she failed to change the status quo in Nigeria well the evidence is clear, the abductions targeted at school girls is a reflection that  the society still doesn’t believe in girls education and they haven’t grasped feminist ideologies yet .
I guess that  explains why she now divides her life between Nigeria and America and why she has many  American friends who believe in her ideologies , she is frustrated by little progress feminism has made in Nigeria and the African continent.

Paying a closer look at America itself women who show  feministic tendencies   also suffer from a lot of criticism one notable example is that of  Hillary Clinton who is one of the pioneers of women’s rights in the 21st century, in 1995 she made a powerful speech  articulating that ‘ women’s rights are human rights’ and this  gave birth to many women rights campaigns and activists  coming from hibernation, they voiced up  .
Fast forward to 2016 ,many Americans  see  Clinton as tough and thinks she  should learn to put a smile a bit  and act in a womanly manner than appearing rigid and stern and also engage men in a more friendly  manner  than  being tough  which is masculine, but  who doesn’t know   that  politics is a dog-eat-dog affair  meaning that there is no room for courtesy  .  
During presidential debates when Clinton showed feminine tendencies by  complaining of being nominated to answer the questions first, they were quick  to doubt  her eligibility as a presidential candidate, she was  viewed as  insecure  and lacked the stamina required in politics of dealing with critical and  urgent international issues that America as a  super power  have to deal with on a daily basis  without complaining.
It was really absurd  though to note that  besides that  Clinton was capable, the fact that she was a woman and also  that she  couldn’t lick anybody’s ass she was punished , the electorate  saw it fit to vote for a man whom they themselves have criticized and said he had the weirdest policies  regarding foreigners, Muslims and so forth  because America just couldn’t   have a female president.
I felt that a heavy cloud have hung heavily over all women advocates, it  was really a sad moment   for all feminists in the world.
This clearly depicts the  real  hurdles women are encountering.
Its really difficult for a woman to  climb up the ladder of success without being criticized for one aspect or the other.
Clinton has undoubtedly  worked really hard to be where she is now because she is focused , and its worthy to pay her due credit.

It is from this background now, where feminism as a theory has failed   that women after having exhausted all tricks in their bags, i mean after getting tired of  talking about the equality theories,  international  agreements such as the Beijing declaration  and laws  which were meant to empower women  in totality , they resort to using’bottom power’ because  it is  now clear that our societies African or not have no place for  feminism. Women who have made huge successes in the end, they are let down just like that, Clinton is again an example.
Bottom power is when  women offer sex as a bait to entice  men in higher positions so that  she can acquire a certain post at work, acquire a higher grade at  school or any other favors in various life cycles in spite that academic wise she is okay or is eligible of holding that  post, those who are not willing to use bottom power are the ones suffering at large .
Bottom power  however reduces women to mere shadows of those who hold the unlocking keys.
Using bottom power, doesn’t necessary denotes that women are  unfit, its a  tactic being used to make life easier when the academic papers  and feminism as a human rights issue has failed to yield the  much expected results.

Globally  we  might have made great strides in as much as empowering women is concerned, but the fact still stands, within the corridors of our work, schools and other spheres of life, bottom power is at loose. This is mainly because, power cannot be relinquished easily, those in possession of it  won’t  relinquish it willy nilly , feminists have tried to grab it the harder way,but the  theory had fallen short , so now a  soft method approach  looks promising and women  using bottom power are  succeeding to some point.
Only time will tell before something else erupts up, we just have to wait and see.
  Anyway,i have  ran short of words but i think that this proverb  summarizes all  ” he who does not know what went wrong, will not remember when the rain began to beat him and worse off will never know how to begin drying himself” we now know what went wrong, lets correct that and make sure women’s dignity is preserved as for feminism, should it  be revised?  Be the judge!

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